Came to Believe by Anonymous

Author:Anonymous [Anonymous]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: AA, Faith, Love, Honesty, Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill Wilson, alcoholism, Addiction, Self Help, Reflections, Humility, Fear, Twelve Step Program, Rehabilitation
Publisher: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Published: 2014-06-07T04:00:00+00:00

BACK TO THE FUNDAMENTALS

A.A. was asking me, of all people, to believe in God. Not only that, they were asking me to believe so thoroughly that I’d be willing to turn my life and my will over to God as I understood Him.

I didn’t understand him. I didn’t know anything about Him. In one way or another, I had been a Catholic, a Baptist, a Presbyterian, an Episcopalian, a Lutheran, and a Christian Scientist, and I’d even been exposed to some extent to the beliefs of Mormons, Mennonites, and Quakers. When I was in college, I specialized in ancient history and got very interested in the mystics. Also, I learned something about Muham-madanism, Buddhism, the mythology of the Vikings, the Romans, and the ancient Greeks, and the original, primitive, pagan religions. But I still couldn’t believe.

I tried reading the Bible, but I bogged down so hopelessly in the terminology that it was pathetic. So I turned to small books written by Bible scholars. “Maybe I’m learning something,” I thought, “or maybe I’m just getting confused. But I’ve got to keep on with this, because at least I’m staying sober.”

I was still going to A.A. meetings and talking to older members who had been sober for a long time. Many of them had a smile in their eyes while we talked—they had already been through this. One of them advised me to go back to the Bible, especially to the Sermon on the Mount, the condensation of Jesus’ message. After we had discussed it, I was able to take from this reading three things that helped me—that I could relate to my A.A. life.

Love your neighbor. Where else but in A.A. could you find half a million people dedicated to love, and really loving each other? The love of one alcoholic for another is something never seen before in the history of the world.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. In A.A., we do unto others what’s already been done unto us. We help others as we have been helped.

As you think, so shall you be. I grew to believe that every deed we perform in our entire lives is just the outward manifestation of an inward thought. If there was a glass of whiskey in front of me, my hand couldn’t reach out and pick it up. My hand and arm are not capable of independent action. The only thing that could make my hand reach out and take that glass and bring it up to my lips would be a thought in my head: “Hand, reach out and take the glass.”

While I was making some progress, I still didn’t have a concept of God. So I went back to the Big Book, as I had done so many times before with other problems. The answer I was looking for was on page 12, in Ebby’s words to Bill: “ ‘Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?’ ”

“I’ve tried everything else,” I thought, “and I’ve got no place else to go.

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